Sonny Boy has a checking and savings account. He completes a budget sheet most months. Now I thought it was time Sonny Boy learn how to invest in stocks and/or mutual funds. I suggested that he start with $2000. He looked at me like I had two heads. Then he said, "I'll do $1000 but not $2000. That is too much money".
I explained to him that he would be meeting with a financial counselor that would explain, the how to, of investing. I reiterated the $2000 to start with.
Sonny Boy turned the tables and asked me about a gallon of almond milk that was in the fridge. He caught me off guard when he asked me how I liked the almond milk I purchased, because he noticed that I wasn't drinking much of it. I admitted that I wasn't very keen on the taste. Then he asked if it made sense to me to purchase a gallon instead of a quart, especially since it wasn't something I was use to.
Then Sonny Boy turned around and said, "And just think you want me to invest $2000 and you just brought a gallon of milk you don't even like. I don't think I want to follow the advice to invest $2000 from someone that don't even know how to buy milk. I will stick with my $1000."
There was nothing for me to say. I couldn't argue against his logic. It just amazes me how children watch a lot of what we do and we don't even realize it. I may not agree with Sonny Boy's reasoning but I am grateful that he is actually filtering the things I do or say when it comes to applying it to his life.
I would have never thought that I would loose credibility over almond milk. I guess it really is the simple things in life that matters.
Lord, I thank you that you didn't just give me any son, but one who thinks.
For the last two years, Sonny Boy has attended a school that requires the wearing of dress clothes. He has to wear full shirt, tie, dress pants, and dress shoes. The only thing that bother him about it is, that he has to iron his own clothes.
So for a while, Sonny Boy seemed to be wearing the same shirts and ties, over and over again, although he had many more options. I would shop for him and he was so picky that I gave up. It bothered me a lot because he didn't like what I thought would look good on him, and he wasn't trying to conform to the look of the majority.
I found myself telling him time and again to switch shirts or to add a tie which color complimented his shirt. If you saw the shirt and tie he would select, you would have thought he was color blind.
Then I found myself voicing my opinion on which hat he wore, shoes he chose, or which coat he wanted to wear for that day. At times, I even compared him to the other students who were more coordinated in their outfits.
One day it hit me that I was slowly pushing him to cover up his own ability to take on the form of commonality. This boy is old enough to pick out his own clothes, and make a lot of his own choices. But, that wasn't the big revelation. The big revelation was me trying to fit Sonny Boy into the everybody else category. When I faced the realty of how I was trying to influence Sonny Boy to be like every one else, I felt remorse.
I was remorseful because at this time in his life, Sonny Boy is trying to find himself. He is trying to grow into his own person. He is learning about his likes and dislikes. And if I am always trying to turn him into what everyone else is, how will he find his own individuality. How could he be accepting of himself, if I, his own mom, is not accepting of him even through these simple and insignificant choices he is making.
I was blessed to come to the realization of this just by his choice of clothing, yet I realized that it goes way deeper than that, and occurred in more ways besides his clothing. Without realizing it I was stifling his creativity, and his will to be his own person. It was as if I was giving him subliminal messages that he was not good enough. As parents we are suppose to be encouraging instead of discouraging. Yet I found myself focusing more on the dislikes than likes on the pretense of making him better. Better than what, his natural self? Really?
If Sonny Boy could walk out of the house wearing the combinations that he put together, and be comfortable, that said a lot about his self confidence and his ability to step out of the norm on his own terms. To me it shows the beginning of leadership capabilities. Why would I want to stifle that?
Isn't that what God requires of us? It is written in the Word that those who follow God are a peculiar people as in 1Peter 2:9.
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should announce the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
Thank you Lord for helping me to realize that we are all destined for greatness in our own unique way and no one has the right to make us into something we are not. Not even us parents.
