Ok so my daughter and son in law are in town. It is thanksgiving weekend. We are sitting around talking and decide to go see the new best man movie. I am with it. My David can't go but that won't stop me. We decide on the early show for the next day.
So I get up and get dressed and dolly around the house. I tell Sonny Boy to get up and get dressed. My sister picks us up and along we go to the movies. Now it never occurred to me that it is a R rated movie. It just never registered in my mind. I'm just so focused on the last best man movie and how I enjoyed it. And, I think I remember his dad and I going to see it only.
Anyway I get the tickets because Sonny Boy didn't see anything playing at the same time that he could see. So, Sonny Boy gets his snacks. We sit down to watch the movie and my sister sits next to Sonny Boy. Not even 10 minutes into the movie a raucous scene is shown. So I get a little uncomfortable. But yet I am holding out that it was just a one time thing. Before I know it another scene appears. I nudge Sonny Boy and ask him to go and check to see if something more appropriate is showing. He responds with a no. He even says: You bought me here. Oh my, the movie just doesn't let up.
My sister gets up and goes out of the movie. When she returns, she sits further down the row. I should have followed suit. Or better yet, I should have taken him out of the theatre then and tried to see something else. But I was so hell bent on watching the movie I didn't even think of leaving myself. It was as if my mental abilities just took a hiatus for the day.
As uncomfortable as I got, and as stubborn as Sonny Boy got, we watched the movie together. I felt so embarrassed that I was so absent minded that I took him to see such an appropriate movie.
Then I thought about all the scenes and what type of encouragement it may of developed in his mind. I just wanted to put my head in the mud and hide forever.
I bet there won't be a next time if I can help it. Pray for me. Mistakes happens. I just hope Sonny Boy doesn't try to reenact any of the moves. I have suffered enough embarrassment for the next 20 years.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Saturday, December 14, 2013
IS IT ME!
I wrote up a responsibility list with Sonny Boy. He knows that before he plays any electronic game, he must complete the task that he is responsible for that day.
On the weekend he loves to have lots of gaming time. Sonny Boy gets a lot of homework and before, he was leaving it to do on Sundays. It was way too much for one day so we worked out another schedule. He does one hour on Friday, Saturday, and finishes up on Sunday.
I don't know if Sonny Boy thinks I am stupid or not, because he is always trying to find a way to pull a slide out of homework. Most of his work is on the I-Pad and I don't have much skill when it comes to the I-Pad. So it is hard for me to tell if he is working on homework or not.
Last night, it's late and I tell Sonny Boy to turn off the Playstation. Five minutes later he is still going at it. I walk into the room and tell him to turn the game off now. I then ask Sonny Boy if he has completed his hour of homework. Would you believe that he hadn't. I am so pissed. I mean really. How many times do we have to go over this.
I tell Sonny Boy that he won't be able to play any electronics tomorrow. Of course he is now pissed but I don't care because his grades don't reflect that he has time to play on any bodies electronic.
So tomorrow has come. Sonny Boy gets all of his chores taken care of and he is trying to speed read through a book that he has waited until the last minute to complete. Of course he won't admit that though.
I ask him if he wants to make some cookies. He says yes, but that he needed to finish his book. So I go into the kitchen and began making my cookies. It is quiet in the living room so I go see what Sonny Boy is up to. I find him on his I-pad. I ask him what he is doing. He says that he is working on the questions assigned for the book.
Almost an hour has gone by. I have completed my cookies and I ask if he is still interested in making cookies. Of course he is on that I-pad again. Again I ask him what he is doing and he states that he is looking at the questions he has to answer.
Now I am not stupid. But what I am is illiterate when it comes to the workings of the I-pad. I so want to find out how to look up the history because then I would know for sure if he is on homework or games.
I again ask him if he is going to make cookies. And he has the nerve to tell me that he is coming and that I should not rush him. Mind you I have been waiting on him no less than an hour. I have made my cookies and now he has the nerve to say I am rushing him.
Finally he shows up to make cookies. Sonny Boy makes the dough and put a pan full into the oven. I am sitting in the living room relaxing. A few minutes later I go into the kitchen and Sonny Boy is on that I-pad again.
I have to ask myself, is it me that don't seem to understand common language or is it him. Of course I take the I-pad and as I exit the kitchen Sonny Boy is left pleading to play for just a little while. And he has the nerve to comment on how much he has done today.
Really. How come no one told me how hard these teen years are. I know I have been through this 2 times before but never like this. Besides, I was a whole lot younger the first time. Now though, this one is on a whole other plane.
I cannot keep up. Here I am fighting, age, technology, and the teen years. Is it me?
On the weekend he loves to have lots of gaming time. Sonny Boy gets a lot of homework and before, he was leaving it to do on Sundays. It was way too much for one day so we worked out another schedule. He does one hour on Friday, Saturday, and finishes up on Sunday.
I don't know if Sonny Boy thinks I am stupid or not, because he is always trying to find a way to pull a slide out of homework. Most of his work is on the I-Pad and I don't have much skill when it comes to the I-Pad. So it is hard for me to tell if he is working on homework or not.
Last night, it's late and I tell Sonny Boy to turn off the Playstation. Five minutes later he is still going at it. I walk into the room and tell him to turn the game off now. I then ask Sonny Boy if he has completed his hour of homework. Would you believe that he hadn't. I am so pissed. I mean really. How many times do we have to go over this.
I tell Sonny Boy that he won't be able to play any electronics tomorrow. Of course he is now pissed but I don't care because his grades don't reflect that he has time to play on any bodies electronic.
So tomorrow has come. Sonny Boy gets all of his chores taken care of and he is trying to speed read through a book that he has waited until the last minute to complete. Of course he won't admit that though.
I ask him if he wants to make some cookies. He says yes, but that he needed to finish his book. So I go into the kitchen and began making my cookies. It is quiet in the living room so I go see what Sonny Boy is up to. I find him on his I-pad. I ask him what he is doing. He says that he is working on the questions assigned for the book.
Almost an hour has gone by. I have completed my cookies and I ask if he is still interested in making cookies. Of course he is on that I-pad again. Again I ask him what he is doing and he states that he is looking at the questions he has to answer.
Now I am not stupid. But what I am is illiterate when it comes to the workings of the I-pad. I so want to find out how to look up the history because then I would know for sure if he is on homework or games.
I again ask him if he is going to make cookies. And he has the nerve to tell me that he is coming and that I should not rush him. Mind you I have been waiting on him no less than an hour. I have made my cookies and now he has the nerve to say I am rushing him.
Finally he shows up to make cookies. Sonny Boy makes the dough and put a pan full into the oven. I am sitting in the living room relaxing. A few minutes later I go into the kitchen and Sonny Boy is on that I-pad again.
I have to ask myself, is it me that don't seem to understand common language or is it him. Of course I take the I-pad and as I exit the kitchen Sonny Boy is left pleading to play for just a little while. And he has the nerve to comment on how much he has done today.
Really. How come no one told me how hard these teen years are. I know I have been through this 2 times before but never like this. Besides, I was a whole lot younger the first time. Now though, this one is on a whole other plane.
I cannot keep up. Here I am fighting, age, technology, and the teen years. Is it me?
Sunday, December 1, 2013
MOTHER GIVEAWAY
Sonny Boy shared with me today that he thinks I am the meanest mother because I make him and his company take walks around the neighborhood. The walks are less then 20 minutes mind you.
He also shared: Who does that? He then says that he doesn't want anymore company over because of it.
Now excuse me if I am wrong, but I am from the old school where children had to be called in when it was time to go in the house. I grew up where we went out early morning or after school and never returned unless it was a bathroom break or time to eat. We played and played until we played out. Children were knocking on our door early to come out to play.
Today, no ones knocking. Children are so focused on electronics that they don't even see what they are missing. I can only speak about my son because that is who I am around on a daily basis with surety.
Sonny Boy does not go outside often enough, and he doesn't need or care about having someone over to play his games. He can talk to others with the game or just play by his self. So he doesn't have a need for human contact. At least that is what he is projecting. He would be comfortable in the house on a daily basis without having to shower, do chores, or even step outside. He is not a sports person, so that makes it even harder to get him outside.
So, I convince him often to take walks. I encourage him to go out and get some fresh air. He doesn't understand the benefits of fresh air and exercise. Because I know how important these things are for our health, I insist that its done. I know it makes a difference because I can tell by his refreshed attitude when he returns in some cases.
I really don't care if Sonny Boy doesn't like that I encourage him and his company to take a walk. I don't hear them complaining. I remember one time that he went out walking with a friend, and after the friend left he share how uncomfortable it was walking with this friend because they were not use to taking to one another.
Now, I thought that was the craziest thing because they play playstation 3 often yet can't have a conversation. To me that is beyond my comprehension. What kind of children are we raising? I fear that if they can't carry a conversation now, what will happen when they become adults? Scary!
He also shared: Who does that? He then says that he doesn't want anymore company over because of it.
Now excuse me if I am wrong, but I am from the old school where children had to be called in when it was time to go in the house. I grew up where we went out early morning or after school and never returned unless it was a bathroom break or time to eat. We played and played until we played out. Children were knocking on our door early to come out to play.
Today, no ones knocking. Children are so focused on electronics that they don't even see what they are missing. I can only speak about my son because that is who I am around on a daily basis with surety.
Sonny Boy does not go outside often enough, and he doesn't need or care about having someone over to play his games. He can talk to others with the game or just play by his self. So he doesn't have a need for human contact. At least that is what he is projecting. He would be comfortable in the house on a daily basis without having to shower, do chores, or even step outside. He is not a sports person, so that makes it even harder to get him outside.
So, I convince him often to take walks. I encourage him to go out and get some fresh air. He doesn't understand the benefits of fresh air and exercise. Because I know how important these things are for our health, I insist that its done. I know it makes a difference because I can tell by his refreshed attitude when he returns in some cases.
I really don't care if Sonny Boy doesn't like that I encourage him and his company to take a walk. I don't hear them complaining. I remember one time that he went out walking with a friend, and after the friend left he share how uncomfortable it was walking with this friend because they were not use to taking to one another.
Now, I thought that was the craziest thing because they play playstation 3 often yet can't have a conversation. To me that is beyond my comprehension. What kind of children are we raising? I fear that if they can't carry a conversation now, what will happen when they become adults? Scary!
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU PLAYING WITH
On the day Sonny Boy got lost he was still adamant about going to school and getting consultation after school with his Biology teacher. When school let I, he called and asked me to pick him up. I heard in his voice that he had a sad disposition.
When Sonny Boy got into the car, he asked how was my dad. Now I know him and I have the sense enough to know when that question is posed, he is in a funk. So I answered and moved on. I then asked him is wanted to share anything.
Sonny Boy began to share the source of his funk. He was upset that he got marked truant and was given 5 days of detention. I explained to him that we have to pay for the things that go wrong in our life. He wasn't getting it. I then shared that he had missed his school but and that set all of this in motion. Of course he was not trying to hear that.
I asked Sonny Boy what could he do. He said that he could talk to the Dean. Then he backed out of that and said that he would write a letter. I encouraged it. So after we got home, Sonny Boy set out to writing that letter. It took him 2 hours to complete.
I read Sonny Boys letter and was impressed with how carefully detailed he explained the incident. In fact I was so proud that I sent it to a few family members.
The next day Sonny Boy gave it to the Dean. As that day passed, he received no response. Then he saw the Dean in the hallway and asked him if he had read the letter. The Dean responded yes, and kept it moving.
When Sonny Boy explained it to me, I immediately told him that he did all he could and now it was my turn. I was really disappointed that not only did the Dean not listen to him initially, but he tossed aside my note that I wrote when I signed him into school that day. And now he just ignored Sonny Boy by not saying anything about the letter.
I sought advice from the PTA leader, and a former member of the Trustee board. And I took the PTA leaders advice and requested a meeting with the Dean, Counselor, Sonny Boy, his dad, and me. Before the meeting the Dean requested that I just send in a note that it wasn't Sonny Boys fault. Of course I was adamant about meeting in person. Needless to say the Dean made us wait a few extra minutes to appear at the meeting.
I did some praying before I got there and we began the meeting with a prayer at my request. Because, I wanted to go there under Gods direction and not my on agenda. The meeting went well and the Dean relented and Sonny Boy got his record wiped clean. The Dean even apologized and couldn't wait to get out of the room. He was totally upset and uncomfortable.
I was so proud of Sonny Boy for standing up for himself for writing his letter. I was even proud that as a family, we showed him that his dad and I are willing to stand by him when he has done all that he could.
That day he learned a valuable lesson. He learned that his actions affect many people, in many ways. And he also learned that sometimes things may go wrong but it can turn around with persistence.
If you are doing right, watch God work to turn things around.
When Sonny Boy got into the car, he asked how was my dad. Now I know him and I have the sense enough to know when that question is posed, he is in a funk. So I answered and moved on. I then asked him is wanted to share anything.
Sonny Boy began to share the source of his funk. He was upset that he got marked truant and was given 5 days of detention. I explained to him that we have to pay for the things that go wrong in our life. He wasn't getting it. I then shared that he had missed his school but and that set all of this in motion. Of course he was not trying to hear that.
I asked Sonny Boy what could he do. He said that he could talk to the Dean. Then he backed out of that and said that he would write a letter. I encouraged it. So after we got home, Sonny Boy set out to writing that letter. It took him 2 hours to complete.
I read Sonny Boys letter and was impressed with how carefully detailed he explained the incident. In fact I was so proud that I sent it to a few family members.
The next day Sonny Boy gave it to the Dean. As that day passed, he received no response. Then he saw the Dean in the hallway and asked him if he had read the letter. The Dean responded yes, and kept it moving.
When Sonny Boy explained it to me, I immediately told him that he did all he could and now it was my turn. I was really disappointed that not only did the Dean not listen to him initially, but he tossed aside my note that I wrote when I signed him into school that day. And now he just ignored Sonny Boy by not saying anything about the letter.
I sought advice from the PTA leader, and a former member of the Trustee board. And I took the PTA leaders advice and requested a meeting with the Dean, Counselor, Sonny Boy, his dad, and me. Before the meeting the Dean requested that I just send in a note that it wasn't Sonny Boys fault. Of course I was adamant about meeting in person. Needless to say the Dean made us wait a few extra minutes to appear at the meeting.
I did some praying before I got there and we began the meeting with a prayer at my request. Because, I wanted to go there under Gods direction and not my on agenda. The meeting went well and the Dean relented and Sonny Boy got his record wiped clean. The Dean even apologized and couldn't wait to get out of the room. He was totally upset and uncomfortable.
I was so proud of Sonny Boy for standing up for himself for writing his letter. I was even proud that as a family, we showed him that his dad and I are willing to stand by him when he has done all that he could.
That day he learned a valuable lesson. He learned that his actions affect many people, in many ways. And he also learned that sometimes things may go wrong but it can turn around with persistence.
If you are doing right, watch God work to turn things around.
IN HIS IMAGE
Sonny Boy had to write a paper about: Why do you think God made us in his image and why? So I asked Sonny Boy what his answer would be. He said God made us in his image because he wanted us to look like him. I asked Sonny Boy what was Gods image and if I recall correctly, he said human.
Now Sonny Boy and I have had 3 bible study sessions on Genesis 1, versus 1-4, and Gods image is covered in the 2nd paragraph of Genesis. So we had to go back to Genesis to see what he missed. Based on my understanding, the Word states that the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. So now we had his image, Spirit. Then we looked at versus 26 and 27. God created man as a Spirit which was male and female before forming mans physical body, and after his likeness.
Likeness is defined as resemblance, copy, or the state of being like. So if we are after Gods likeness, then we are workers who create and make all that is good, just like God.
Isn't that amazing that we were created to do things. As I repeat this statement, what comes to mind is, we are suppose to go out and spread the word about Gods goodness. We can do that at anytime and anyplace as long as the person is open to receive it.
When Sonny Boy came home from school today, I asked him what he did this day that would be pleasing to God. He shared that his friend looked a little down, so Sonny Boy told a joke and got him laughing.
Sometimes, all it takes is for us to look right in front of us to see a need and be about our fathers business of changing the atmosphere. Kudos Sonny Boy.
Now Sonny Boy and I have had 3 bible study sessions on Genesis 1, versus 1-4, and Gods image is covered in the 2nd paragraph of Genesis. So we had to go back to Genesis to see what he missed. Based on my understanding, the Word states that the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. So now we had his image, Spirit. Then we looked at versus 26 and 27. God created man as a Spirit which was male and female before forming mans physical body, and after his likeness.
Likeness is defined as resemblance, copy, or the state of being like. So if we are after Gods likeness, then we are workers who create and make all that is good, just like God.
Isn't that amazing that we were created to do things. As I repeat this statement, what comes to mind is, we are suppose to go out and spread the word about Gods goodness. We can do that at anytime and anyplace as long as the person is open to receive it.
When Sonny Boy came home from school today, I asked him what he did this day that would be pleasing to God. He shared that his friend looked a little down, so Sonny Boy told a joke and got him laughing.
Sometimes, all it takes is for us to look right in front of us to see a need and be about our fathers business of changing the atmosphere. Kudos Sonny Boy.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
GRACE
One morning, a few months ago, I got frustrated by how slow Sonny Boy was moving, in spite of getting him up earlier then normal. I noticed that with me being frustrated, I was frustrating him. But when I asked him to pray with me, he asked if he could say the prayer.
Sonny Boy prayed that I would have a good day at work and that he would have a good day at school. GRACE!
Sonny Boy prayed that I would have a good day at work and that he would have a good day at school. GRACE!
Monday, November 18, 2013
CAN YOU HEAR ME
So my daughter who lives in Jersey invited Sonny Boy to visit before the end of summer.
Sonny Boy is attending a new school in September and he had to take a English review course during the month of July. He has had a bone growth on his leg for over 2 years. I just could not find a time that would be favorable for us to have it removed. So this summer we decided to just do it. I for one was tired of him complaining about his muscles or tendons getting caught on it during sports. I know you are probably thinking: Oh my God how could she? But, trust me, Sonny Boy does not participate in sports like that. He is the laid back, book in his face kind of guy. So the times that he complained wasn't often.
Anyway, Sonny Boy had this surgery in August. So he was on restrictions until October 2013. He could not have been happier because now he had reason to sit around and overdose on playstation 3 and kindle fire applications, oreo cookies and pancakes with maple syrup. Not necessarily in that order.
It still amazes me how God connects people when we don't even see it coming. The Surgeon that his Pediatrician referred us to on Sonny Boys initial visit two years ago, we learned later on, but right before the actual surgery, is a graduate of this school that Sonny Boy would be attending. And not only did the Surgeon graduate from this school but, his son currently attends this school. So needless to say the Surgeon was overjoyed to have Sonny Boy as a patient and shared his days at the school.
This school is one of the best high schools in our city for boys only and most of the attendees have a family history there. It runs like a blood line. The grandfather, father, brother, uncle, cousin, etc. has attended. You get the point. But for Sonny Boy's family, he is the first. Trust me, we did not choose this school lightly. I for one sought counsel from a member of the trustee board and he calmed my fears.
Getting back to Sonny Boy making the trip to see his Sister after surgery, but before school began. My Brother drives for Greyhound so I spoke with him about Sonny Boy riding with him to NYC. I discussed Sonny Boys need to elevate his leg and have extra seating. My daughter suggested that Sonny Boy should fly, because she was afraid sitting too long would irritate his leg. I shared that I know that my brother would take care of him. My brother is a talker so I knew that he would talk to Sonny Boy the 8 hours it would take to get to NYC.
We set the trip for Monday. Sonny Boy would spend a week with his Sister and her family. Now since surgery, Sonny Boy had been up and around on crutches. He was told that he could put some pressure on the leg but not a lot. So I encouraged him some and he took it upon himself to do more. I caught him without his crutches more often then I should have and scolded him because of it. The Sunday before he would leave, Sonny Boy awakened with both of his eyes swollen, and a minor sore throat. I cancelled the trip with my brother. Later it seemed that Sonny Boy just had a little bit of allergies.
I didn't want Sonny Boy to miss a trip to see his sister, since his summer had been such a bust, so I suggested that we could go as a family, leaving on Thursday and spending the whole weekend. So on Wednesday evening after bible study, I asked Sonny Boy to get his clothes and things together that he would want to take so I could pack his suitcase. Sonny Boys dad was hemming and hawing about going so I knew it would be just Sonny Boy and me making the trip and I told him such.
Sonny Boy looked at me and said: "Can we go another time?" Then he began to question what he would do there, who was going, and on and on. I felt his hesitation and I immediately said to myself. Okay God I'm listening, we'll just stay home. I felt there was too much doubt going on with this trip for me. Of course my daughter was disappointed but she went on to suggest if he is still having problems near the end of the week, I should call the Dr. on Friday.
I thought about what she said. I called the Surgeon the next day. I know that it was in Gods plan because the Surgeon got back to me himself and offered that he did not see patients on Friday because it was his day of surgery. He then shared that if I could bring Sonny Boy into the hospital where he performed surgery, and if we were willing to wait for a break between surgery, he would come out and see Sonny Boy. He also shared that we would not have to sign in. Just have a seat and wait in the Ortho dept. That meant that this would be on his own time and no cost was involved. Only God!
I knew after the conversation with the Surgeon that this was God working it out. We got to the Ortho dept. and waited. After an hour, I had to go feed my parking meter. Of course while I was away, I missed the Surgeon. He spoke with Sonny Boy and told him that he would come back and speak with me. He returned again but I had not returned yet. Upon my return, Sonny Boy told me what happened and said that the Surgeon may not come back. We stayed anyway. A few minutes later, the Surgeon came back and told me that Sonny Boy was using his leg too much and that he needed to stay off of it. Sonny Boy was advised to keep it elevated, and apply heat to his wound.
I could have jumped for joy upon leaving the hospital because I was so grateful that I listened to God, and cancelled the trip. There was no telling what the outcome would have been if I had not listened.
ARE YOU LISTENING WHEN GOD SPEAKS?
Sonny Boy is attending a new school in September and he had to take a English review course during the month of July. He has had a bone growth on his leg for over 2 years. I just could not find a time that would be favorable for us to have it removed. So this summer we decided to just do it. I for one was tired of him complaining about his muscles or tendons getting caught on it during sports. I know you are probably thinking: Oh my God how could she? But, trust me, Sonny Boy does not participate in sports like that. He is the laid back, book in his face kind of guy. So the times that he complained wasn't often.
Anyway, Sonny Boy had this surgery in August. So he was on restrictions until October 2013. He could not have been happier because now he had reason to sit around and overdose on playstation 3 and kindle fire applications, oreo cookies and pancakes with maple syrup. Not necessarily in that order.
It still amazes me how God connects people when we don't even see it coming. The Surgeon that his Pediatrician referred us to on Sonny Boys initial visit two years ago, we learned later on, but right before the actual surgery, is a graduate of this school that Sonny Boy would be attending. And not only did the Surgeon graduate from this school but, his son currently attends this school. So needless to say the Surgeon was overjoyed to have Sonny Boy as a patient and shared his days at the school.
This school is one of the best high schools in our city for boys only and most of the attendees have a family history there. It runs like a blood line. The grandfather, father, brother, uncle, cousin, etc. has attended. You get the point. But for Sonny Boy's family, he is the first. Trust me, we did not choose this school lightly. I for one sought counsel from a member of the trustee board and he calmed my fears.
Getting back to Sonny Boy making the trip to see his Sister after surgery, but before school began. My Brother drives for Greyhound so I spoke with him about Sonny Boy riding with him to NYC. I discussed Sonny Boys need to elevate his leg and have extra seating. My daughter suggested that Sonny Boy should fly, because she was afraid sitting too long would irritate his leg. I shared that I know that my brother would take care of him. My brother is a talker so I knew that he would talk to Sonny Boy the 8 hours it would take to get to NYC.
We set the trip for Monday. Sonny Boy would spend a week with his Sister and her family. Now since surgery, Sonny Boy had been up and around on crutches. He was told that he could put some pressure on the leg but not a lot. So I encouraged him some and he took it upon himself to do more. I caught him without his crutches more often then I should have and scolded him because of it. The Sunday before he would leave, Sonny Boy awakened with both of his eyes swollen, and a minor sore throat. I cancelled the trip with my brother. Later it seemed that Sonny Boy just had a little bit of allergies.
I didn't want Sonny Boy to miss a trip to see his sister, since his summer had been such a bust, so I suggested that we could go as a family, leaving on Thursday and spending the whole weekend. So on Wednesday evening after bible study, I asked Sonny Boy to get his clothes and things together that he would want to take so I could pack his suitcase. Sonny Boys dad was hemming and hawing about going so I knew it would be just Sonny Boy and me making the trip and I told him such.
Sonny Boy looked at me and said: "Can we go another time?" Then he began to question what he would do there, who was going, and on and on. I felt his hesitation and I immediately said to myself. Okay God I'm listening, we'll just stay home. I felt there was too much doubt going on with this trip for me. Of course my daughter was disappointed but she went on to suggest if he is still having problems near the end of the week, I should call the Dr. on Friday.
I thought about what she said. I called the Surgeon the next day. I know that it was in Gods plan because the Surgeon got back to me himself and offered that he did not see patients on Friday because it was his day of surgery. He then shared that if I could bring Sonny Boy into the hospital where he performed surgery, and if we were willing to wait for a break between surgery, he would come out and see Sonny Boy. He also shared that we would not have to sign in. Just have a seat and wait in the Ortho dept. That meant that this would be on his own time and no cost was involved. Only God!
I knew after the conversation with the Surgeon that this was God working it out. We got to the Ortho dept. and waited. After an hour, I had to go feed my parking meter. Of course while I was away, I missed the Surgeon. He spoke with Sonny Boy and told him that he would come back and speak with me. He returned again but I had not returned yet. Upon my return, Sonny Boy told me what happened and said that the Surgeon may not come back. We stayed anyway. A few minutes later, the Surgeon came back and told me that Sonny Boy was using his leg too much and that he needed to stay off of it. Sonny Boy was advised to keep it elevated, and apply heat to his wound.
I could have jumped for joy upon leaving the hospital because I was so grateful that I listened to God, and cancelled the trip. There was no telling what the outcome would have been if I had not listened.
ARE YOU LISTENING WHEN GOD SPEAKS?
Sunday, November 17, 2013
THE MAN BEHIND ME!
On this glorious morning, Sonny Boy and my visiting daughter cooked breakfast. With the food piping hot on the table, ready to be devoured, we prepared to pray.
Sonny Boy asked if he could do the prayer. Of course I said yes. He began to pray: That God would bless our food for the nourishment of our mind and body. That God bless our family. That God bless all those who need prayer. And, that God bless those who don't think they need prayer. And bless the man over there.
Now I may have been to two different hospitals within two past days and they could not find a source of my ills. But I know that I am not crazy. So I ask Sonny Boy to repeat the last part of his prayer before we had said Amen. So he repeated the part to bless those who needs prayer and those who think they don't. But I know that I had heard something else after that the first go round. So I asked Sonny Boy to repeat it again. Again he just said what he had just repeated. Then I said no, you are missing a part. And I asked him what did you say after the last part.
He then shared that he said: And bless the man over there. Now, I know that it is only myself, Sonny Boy, and my daughter that are at the table, and in the whole house for that matter. So of course I had to ask him what man is he referring to as his sister also looked at him perplexed. Sonny Boy said to his sister, you know the man that was behind us yesterday. She still didn't get it and I was at a total loss.
Sonny Boy then said, you know when we went to the hospital yesterday after mom was rushed there, the man came in behind us holding his stomach. So at this time Sonny Boy jumps from his chair and begins to demonstrate the actions of the man and shares how the man came into the ER holding onto his stomach with a grimace on his face. The same man later flew by him into the bathroom pulling his pants down at the same time.
Now, if I had not been ill when he shared this latter part, I would have been rolling on the floor. Not laughing at the man and his issue but laughing at Sonny Boy, who when he is happy is so comedic.
I am thankful to God that Sonny Boy remembered the man in his prayer, to bless the food we were about to eat. But I am also thankful to God because I know that only God can encourage us to remember others in prayer, when we may not even remember ourselves.
To God Be the Glory.
HAVE YOU REMEMBERED THE MAN BEHIND YOU?
Sonny Boy asked if he could do the prayer. Of course I said yes. He began to pray: That God would bless our food for the nourishment of our mind and body. That God bless our family. That God bless all those who need prayer. And, that God bless those who don't think they need prayer. And bless the man over there.
Now I may have been to two different hospitals within two past days and they could not find a source of my ills. But I know that I am not crazy. So I ask Sonny Boy to repeat the last part of his prayer before we had said Amen. So he repeated the part to bless those who needs prayer and those who think they don't. But I know that I had heard something else after that the first go round. So I asked Sonny Boy to repeat it again. Again he just said what he had just repeated. Then I said no, you are missing a part. And I asked him what did you say after the last part.
He then shared that he said: And bless the man over there. Now, I know that it is only myself, Sonny Boy, and my daughter that are at the table, and in the whole house for that matter. So of course I had to ask him what man is he referring to as his sister also looked at him perplexed. Sonny Boy said to his sister, you know the man that was behind us yesterday. She still didn't get it and I was at a total loss.
Sonny Boy then said, you know when we went to the hospital yesterday after mom was rushed there, the man came in behind us holding his stomach. So at this time Sonny Boy jumps from his chair and begins to demonstrate the actions of the man and shares how the man came into the ER holding onto his stomach with a grimace on his face. The same man later flew by him into the bathroom pulling his pants down at the same time.
Now, if I had not been ill when he shared this latter part, I would have been rolling on the floor. Not laughing at the man and his issue but laughing at Sonny Boy, who when he is happy is so comedic.
I am thankful to God that Sonny Boy remembered the man in his prayer, to bless the food we were about to eat. But I am also thankful to God because I know that only God can encourage us to remember others in prayer, when we may not even remember ourselves.
To God Be the Glory.
HAVE YOU REMEMBERED THE MAN BEHIND YOU?
Monday, November 11, 2013
GET TO STEPPING!
Let me tell you. Sonny Boy had one of the worst days of his life yesterday. Lessons to be learned were coming at him so fast, I think he just gave up trying to dodge them. Now my last post I wrote about him having to catch the city bus. Well now you get to hear what happened. Fix yourself a cup of tea, and sit down and get yourself comfortable cause this is going to be a turbulent ride.
So it is 9:00a.m. and I am about to get my power walk in with my sister at 9:30. It has been a little under an 1 1/2 hours since Sonny Boy left to catch his city bus all by himself. I decide to call the school to see if he made it there. I was pretty confident that all went smoothly because he had the directions. What could go wrong?
Now this is my 2nd time in a week that I had to make this kind of call. So when the secretary to the Dean states Sonny Boy is not there. I repeat her words to myself because I wasn't able to comprehend what she said. I immediately go into what the heck is going on here mode. I gave the secretary a brief scenario of Sonny Boy catching the bus and asked her to call me when he gets there.
I grab my keys and head for the door. I call his dad, no answer. I call my sister to postpone the walk and told her what happened. She immediately went into find my nephew mode. I call dad again, no answer. I call his job to see if he was there. They had sent him out on an errand. So I call the job back and ask them to call the cell of his coworker who is with him, and to have him have dad call me. He did. I explain what's going on. Now, I realize that this has never happened before but why is it people want to ask: Where is he? Heck if I knew that, we would not be having this conversation. I would not be driving the routes that Sonny Boy was suppose to take.
I'm thinking that Sonny Boy got frustrated waiting for the bus and began to walk, along with all kinds of crazy, wild thoughts. After traveling the routes and contacting the school again with no luck fear, and panic began to set in. Then I remember that God said to give it over to him. So I began chanting: I trust God. I trust God. I do this over and over as defeating thoughts come and go. After about 45 minutes, I had a little talk with God. I said Lord, you said you got this. So I am trusting you because you don't lie. Lord, I am trusting you to bring my boy home safely. Lord I know that this is a lesson and I am trusting you, as I pass the blue house a couple of doors down that a pedophile lives in as the thought of him grabbing my son floats through my consciousness.
I go home to call the Police and wait on God to send my boy home. I call my local police station and not one supervisor was in. I am put on hold for what seemed like an eternity so I get up off my sofa and walk to the window and low and behold I see a figure coming up the street dressed like my Sonny Boy. I go out onto the front porch as if my long lost military husband was just returning home. I'm thinking this must be a mirage. No, it's Sonny Boy.
Since he was coming from the direction of a friends I assume he was coming from there. But he just says: wait a minute, I have to catch my breath, I just ran up the street. I immediately go into kick butt mode. I think oh heck no, whoever made my Sonny Boy run has it coming. I follow him into the kitchen and he sits exactly where this whole mess began. He shares that he got lost. And when he was done with his story, all I could do was laugh. I am talking about a laugh that almost had me rolling on the ground. He got up and came to me asking if I was alright. I just laughed even more. This was one of the craziest stories I have heard.
So Sonny Boy caught the bus as I instructed. He caught the 2nd bus too but he caught it on the wrong side of the street. So of course that meant he was going in the opposite direction. When he asked the driver if the bus passes his school, the driver told him that the bus passed the school a long time back. In other words, before he even got on. So he gets off the bus and all he could think about was how mad I would be. Mind you he is now 5 1/2 miles from home and maybe 4 1/2 miles from school. He is not even in the city anymore. He thinks to walk to school but doesn't know which way. So he set off for home.
Remember his phone is dead but yet he still tried to get it to work. It took him about 1 1/2 hours to get home although he walked along a busy strip filled with businesses. Never once did he think to go into one to call home. He had his I-pad with him and never once thought to email anyone.
So now he gets home safely, I thank God, and both his dad and I ask him if he wants to stay home because he has missed three classes. He says no because he needed to stay after with his biology teacher to get his grade up. I take him to school and write a note to let them know what happened. He takes the note to the dean. The dean doesn't even read it, he immediately accuse Sonny Boy of oversleeping and thereby missing his bus. He writes a note for Sonny Boy to receive detention for 5 days for being truant, and not the 3 days for being late.
Sonny Boy is livid. But you know what, there is a cost for everything we do. Unfortunately for Sonny Boy his price is sky rocketing.
So it is 9:00a.m. and I am about to get my power walk in with my sister at 9:30. It has been a little under an 1 1/2 hours since Sonny Boy left to catch his city bus all by himself. I decide to call the school to see if he made it there. I was pretty confident that all went smoothly because he had the directions. What could go wrong?
Now this is my 2nd time in a week that I had to make this kind of call. So when the secretary to the Dean states Sonny Boy is not there. I repeat her words to myself because I wasn't able to comprehend what she said. I immediately go into what the heck is going on here mode. I gave the secretary a brief scenario of Sonny Boy catching the bus and asked her to call me when he gets there.
I grab my keys and head for the door. I call his dad, no answer. I call my sister to postpone the walk and told her what happened. She immediately went into find my nephew mode. I call dad again, no answer. I call his job to see if he was there. They had sent him out on an errand. So I call the job back and ask them to call the cell of his coworker who is with him, and to have him have dad call me. He did. I explain what's going on. Now, I realize that this has never happened before but why is it people want to ask: Where is he? Heck if I knew that, we would not be having this conversation. I would not be driving the routes that Sonny Boy was suppose to take.
I'm thinking that Sonny Boy got frustrated waiting for the bus and began to walk, along with all kinds of crazy, wild thoughts. After traveling the routes and contacting the school again with no luck fear, and panic began to set in. Then I remember that God said to give it over to him. So I began chanting: I trust God. I trust God. I do this over and over as defeating thoughts come and go. After about 45 minutes, I had a little talk with God. I said Lord, you said you got this. So I am trusting you because you don't lie. Lord, I am trusting you to bring my boy home safely. Lord I know that this is a lesson and I am trusting you, as I pass the blue house a couple of doors down that a pedophile lives in as the thought of him grabbing my son floats through my consciousness.
I go home to call the Police and wait on God to send my boy home. I call my local police station and not one supervisor was in. I am put on hold for what seemed like an eternity so I get up off my sofa and walk to the window and low and behold I see a figure coming up the street dressed like my Sonny Boy. I go out onto the front porch as if my long lost military husband was just returning home. I'm thinking this must be a mirage. No, it's Sonny Boy.
Since he was coming from the direction of a friends I assume he was coming from there. But he just says: wait a minute, I have to catch my breath, I just ran up the street. I immediately go into kick butt mode. I think oh heck no, whoever made my Sonny Boy run has it coming. I follow him into the kitchen and he sits exactly where this whole mess began. He shares that he got lost. And when he was done with his story, all I could do was laugh. I am talking about a laugh that almost had me rolling on the ground. He got up and came to me asking if I was alright. I just laughed even more. This was one of the craziest stories I have heard.
So Sonny Boy caught the bus as I instructed. He caught the 2nd bus too but he caught it on the wrong side of the street. So of course that meant he was going in the opposite direction. When he asked the driver if the bus passes his school, the driver told him that the bus passed the school a long time back. In other words, before he even got on. So he gets off the bus and all he could think about was how mad I would be. Mind you he is now 5 1/2 miles from home and maybe 4 1/2 miles from school. He is not even in the city anymore. He thinks to walk to school but doesn't know which way. So he set off for home.
Remember his phone is dead but yet he still tried to get it to work. It took him about 1 1/2 hours to get home although he walked along a busy strip filled with businesses. Never once did he think to go into one to call home. He had his I-pad with him and never once thought to email anyone.
So now he gets home safely, I thank God, and both his dad and I ask him if he wants to stay home because he has missed three classes. He says no because he needed to stay after with his biology teacher to get his grade up. I take him to school and write a note to let them know what happened. He takes the note to the dean. The dean doesn't even read it, he immediately accuse Sonny Boy of oversleeping and thereby missing his bus. He writes a note for Sonny Boy to receive detention for 5 days for being truant, and not the 3 days for being late.
Sonny Boy is livid. But you know what, there is a cost for everything we do. Unfortunately for Sonny Boy his price is sky rocketing.
WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN?
God put it in my spirit that we as parents are responsible for teaching our children the word in our home. It's not like I didn't already know that, but I was not doing it. It was not because I didn't think about it, or that I didn't want to do it. I tried before and it just wasn't working. He was not interested at all.
This time I asked God how to teach Sonny Boy his word. God is the one who created our instruction manual so he would know best. My answer that I received was to start from the beginning. And you know what I did and it worked.
I put family time to study God's word on his responsibility list. So today, being the 1st time, I told Sonny Boy that it was time for us to study the Word. I asked him how much time he would like us to study. He quickly perked up and said 5 to 10 minutes. I repeated it questionably. He then said 5 minutes. I said ok.
I read Genesis, Chap 1, versus 1-4. I asked Sonny Boy what God had done in those versus. His response was that God created the heavens and earth, and saw some light. I said that was good. Then I asked him step by step what God had done. He created, he looked, he said it was good. Yes!
I went on to explain that we are all creators. We create with what we do with our life. I asked him to look back over this past week to see what he (Sonny Boy), had created in his life and was it good. He thought about it and said no, it wasn't good. So I asked Sonny Boy what should he do if what he created over the week wasn't good to him, because if it wasn't good to him then it probably wasn't good to God. He said that he should do it again. I repeated it so he could hear what he said. He then changed it and said that he could do it better.
That was the end of the lesson. We even had a minute or two to spare. It really blew my mind that we could get so much out of such a small part of the bible. Only God.
About a hour later I went to his room and I asked him about his lesson and he actually remembered what he studied and, that he is the creator of his life and he is responsible for his actions being pleasing to him and pleasing to God. Wow, how powerful is that. I am so pumped up for tomorrows lesson. Because as I typed this I read over the lesson and I saw that I missed something along the way. So see if you catch it.
God created, moved, spoke, looked, saw it was good, and lastly divided. If we don't learn anything else, we need to know that our life takes action. We need to be mindful of what we create, move it into being, speak it into existence, look to be sure it is on course and divide it into doable form. Ohhhhhhhh my, I feel a sermon coming on.
This time I asked God how to teach Sonny Boy his word. God is the one who created our instruction manual so he would know best. My answer that I received was to start from the beginning. And you know what I did and it worked.
I put family time to study God's word on his responsibility list. So today, being the 1st time, I told Sonny Boy that it was time for us to study the Word. I asked him how much time he would like us to study. He quickly perked up and said 5 to 10 minutes. I repeated it questionably. He then said 5 minutes. I said ok.
I read Genesis, Chap 1, versus 1-4. I asked Sonny Boy what God had done in those versus. His response was that God created the heavens and earth, and saw some light. I said that was good. Then I asked him step by step what God had done. He created, he looked, he said it was good. Yes!
I went on to explain that we are all creators. We create with what we do with our life. I asked him to look back over this past week to see what he (Sonny Boy), had created in his life and was it good. He thought about it and said no, it wasn't good. So I asked Sonny Boy what should he do if what he created over the week wasn't good to him, because if it wasn't good to him then it probably wasn't good to God. He said that he should do it again. I repeated it so he could hear what he said. He then changed it and said that he could do it better.
That was the end of the lesson. We even had a minute or two to spare. It really blew my mind that we could get so much out of such a small part of the bible. Only God.
About a hour later I went to his room and I asked him about his lesson and he actually remembered what he studied and, that he is the creator of his life and he is responsible for his actions being pleasing to him and pleasing to God. Wow, how powerful is that. I am so pumped up for tomorrows lesson. Because as I typed this I read over the lesson and I saw that I missed something along the way. So see if you catch it.
God created, moved, spoke, looked, saw it was good, and lastly divided. If we don't learn anything else, we need to know that our life takes action. We need to be mindful of what we create, move it into being, speak it into existence, look to be sure it is on course and divide it into doable form. Ohhhhhhhh my, I feel a sermon coming on.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO LET HIM GO?
My heart is torn right now. I want to run after him and fix it. But I know that would keep us in the wilderness of doing the same thing over and over and still getting the same results. The Lord has already told me to trust him so I have to keep that at the forefront. But even trusting in the Lord doesn't make the pain go away. But it is comforting to know that the Lord is with me during the pain.
Here is where my story begins: It's 6:00 a.m. my alarm clock goes off. I call out to Sonny Boy after a couple of minutes to come and turn off my alarm. He grumbles but I hear a NO in there somewhere. His alarm goes off 2 to 3 minutes later. I ask him if he plans to get up on time. He says that he is awake and listening to his music for a minute. I ask him to come into my room for a minute. He asks why? Then says give me a minute. Well a minute turns into 10 minutes. All the while I am trying to think of ways to coax him out of the bed. Finally at 6:25 he comes and jumps into my bed. So I grab the bible and read Colossians 3, vs 18-25. I was actually looking for something different but that was where the Spirit lead me. After that it is approx. 6:33 and I still am trying to coax him up to get ready for school.
Finally he is up an dressed but now it is 7:00a.m. Remember his bus comes around 7:25a.m. So I cook breakfast as he pulls out his I-Pad. I ask him if it is wise to use it at this time. He responds: Yea its wise. I suggest he put all of his stuff at the door so when the school bus comes he would just grab and go. He does that and then back to the I-Pad and listening to the radio. I mention something about time and he just blows me off. So I say ok I'll just mind my business.
It is now 7:23 and I go to the window in the dining room and I see his bus waiting as I call I to Sonny Boy to tell him, the bus drives away. I then tell him that he just missed the bus. He says: you didn't flag him down. I say: No. He says: the door is not open so he thinks no one was home. Mom, you didn't open the door? I say: No, I left it for you. His face fell upon an overwhelming sense of loss. I began to tell him what he needed to do next. He cut me off quickly as he ran to the window again just to be sure that his bus was not out there. I told him that I wouldn't lie to him, I saw the bus and it pulled away. He begs to stay home. I refuse.
I then shared with him that now he has to really catch the city bus from this area. I started to tell him the times and the stop he would have to walk to. As he started to panic, he sat down at the kitchen table and pulled out his I-pad and started playing again. I politely laid down the bus schedule and went back to my dishes. He said, what, you think I can't play and hear too. I then said: If you want the information to get to school you must turn off the I-pad.
He had to dip into his savings again. This time there was no hesitancy. I gave him the information he needed as he moved slowly. I also informed him that a bus will be showing up in 3 minutes but he could count that as a loss. The next bus would be in
15 minutes but by the time he got out of the door he only had 4 minutes to make it to the stop. I didn't even bother to share that. He asked what happens if he misses it. I said: you will just have to wait there until another one comes. As he heads out the door feeling a little lost he asks me what I plan to do today. I answer that I just plan to clean the house. I know that he wanted to ask why I couldn't take him to school but he knew better.
He realize that he didn't charge his phone last night and shares that it is dead this morning. He also shares that he doesn't know where he is going and will probably get lost as he walks out the door leaving the directions on the table. I ask if he needs the directions and point to where they lay. He grabs them and out the door he goes.
I run to the window and watch him pass. I keep telling myself that I have to trust God on this. Every couple of minutes I find myself gravitating to the window just to see if he has returned. I want to go and get my baby and take him to school. I am fearful of what is out there. I ask myself if I am doing the right thing. I keep replaying this morning in my mind. It is taking everything I have in me to not get into my car to make sure he gets on the right bus or even just take him to school on the pretense that he's learned his lesson.
I am feeling the same type of feelings I did when a love relationship broke up. You know, when you feel like you want to hang on to what is no longer wise but comfortable because you know what you have versus the unknown. Your mind is twirling as you think about how you have gotten to this place. You want to throw in the towel and go after him and just pull him back into the fold. You want to cover him with your love in spite of him not being responsible for his part in this love relationship.
I slap myself back into reality and it hits me that this is a lesson for the both of us. His lesson is being responsible for his actions and suffering the consequences. Now that he is in high school, he has to be a better steward of his time. Sonny Boy has to learn that he is ultimately responsible for what he does and when he does it. He has to learn that there is more then one way to do something and it is up to him if he wants to take the hard road or the easy one.
My lesson is learning to not only say I will trust God but to actually trust him. I must take my way out of the situation and let him do his thing because his lessons last a life time and mine only last for the moment. I thank God for the lesson I learn today because it will keep me from being one of those moms who 20 years later is still raising a grown man who never learn to lean on himself and can never commit to anything.
Thank you God for this lesson. Keep them coming. I'm taking off this coat of fear and replacing it with your full armor.
Areverdurchy son. Or however you spell it.
Here is where my story begins: It's 6:00 a.m. my alarm clock goes off. I call out to Sonny Boy after a couple of minutes to come and turn off my alarm. He grumbles but I hear a NO in there somewhere. His alarm goes off 2 to 3 minutes later. I ask him if he plans to get up on time. He says that he is awake and listening to his music for a minute. I ask him to come into my room for a minute. He asks why? Then says give me a minute. Well a minute turns into 10 minutes. All the while I am trying to think of ways to coax him out of the bed. Finally at 6:25 he comes and jumps into my bed. So I grab the bible and read Colossians 3, vs 18-25. I was actually looking for something different but that was where the Spirit lead me. After that it is approx. 6:33 and I still am trying to coax him up to get ready for school.
Finally he is up an dressed but now it is 7:00a.m. Remember his bus comes around 7:25a.m. So I cook breakfast as he pulls out his I-Pad. I ask him if it is wise to use it at this time. He responds: Yea its wise. I suggest he put all of his stuff at the door so when the school bus comes he would just grab and go. He does that and then back to the I-Pad and listening to the radio. I mention something about time and he just blows me off. So I say ok I'll just mind my business.
It is now 7:23 and I go to the window in the dining room and I see his bus waiting as I call I to Sonny Boy to tell him, the bus drives away. I then tell him that he just missed the bus. He says: you didn't flag him down. I say: No. He says: the door is not open so he thinks no one was home. Mom, you didn't open the door? I say: No, I left it for you. His face fell upon an overwhelming sense of loss. I began to tell him what he needed to do next. He cut me off quickly as he ran to the window again just to be sure that his bus was not out there. I told him that I wouldn't lie to him, I saw the bus and it pulled away. He begs to stay home. I refuse.
I then shared with him that now he has to really catch the city bus from this area. I started to tell him the times and the stop he would have to walk to. As he started to panic, he sat down at the kitchen table and pulled out his I-pad and started playing again. I politely laid down the bus schedule and went back to my dishes. He said, what, you think I can't play and hear too. I then said: If you want the information to get to school you must turn off the I-pad.
He had to dip into his savings again. This time there was no hesitancy. I gave him the information he needed as he moved slowly. I also informed him that a bus will be showing up in 3 minutes but he could count that as a loss. The next bus would be in
15 minutes but by the time he got out of the door he only had 4 minutes to make it to the stop. I didn't even bother to share that. He asked what happens if he misses it. I said: you will just have to wait there until another one comes. As he heads out the door feeling a little lost he asks me what I plan to do today. I answer that I just plan to clean the house. I know that he wanted to ask why I couldn't take him to school but he knew better.
He realize that he didn't charge his phone last night and shares that it is dead this morning. He also shares that he doesn't know where he is going and will probably get lost as he walks out the door leaving the directions on the table. I ask if he needs the directions and point to where they lay. He grabs them and out the door he goes.
I run to the window and watch him pass. I keep telling myself that I have to trust God on this. Every couple of minutes I find myself gravitating to the window just to see if he has returned. I want to go and get my baby and take him to school. I am fearful of what is out there. I ask myself if I am doing the right thing. I keep replaying this morning in my mind. It is taking everything I have in me to not get into my car to make sure he gets on the right bus or even just take him to school on the pretense that he's learned his lesson.
I am feeling the same type of feelings I did when a love relationship broke up. You know, when you feel like you want to hang on to what is no longer wise but comfortable because you know what you have versus the unknown. Your mind is twirling as you think about how you have gotten to this place. You want to throw in the towel and go after him and just pull him back into the fold. You want to cover him with your love in spite of him not being responsible for his part in this love relationship.
I slap myself back into reality and it hits me that this is a lesson for the both of us. His lesson is being responsible for his actions and suffering the consequences. Now that he is in high school, he has to be a better steward of his time. Sonny Boy has to learn that he is ultimately responsible for what he does and when he does it. He has to learn that there is more then one way to do something and it is up to him if he wants to take the hard road or the easy one.
My lesson is learning to not only say I will trust God but to actually trust him. I must take my way out of the situation and let him do his thing because his lessons last a life time and mine only last for the moment. I thank God for the lesson I learn today because it will keep me from being one of those moms who 20 years later is still raising a grown man who never learn to lean on himself and can never commit to anything.
Thank you God for this lesson. Keep them coming. I'm taking off this coat of fear and replacing it with your full armor.
Areverdurchy son. Or however you spell it.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
GO AHEAD N BURN THE HOUSE DOWN
Okay. So I awaken on time this morning and let the alarm clock buzz for at least 3 minutes with the intention of irritating Sonny Boy who is still in bed. Mind you, his alarm was buzzing and he went and jumped back into bed. So I advise him that if he doesn't get up, I will come into his room and pour cold water on his face.
Oh, that was all I needed to get a rise out of him. He is on fire and gets up complaining that I have taken his games, music (offensive that's why), t.v., and favorite foods from him and now his sleep, so he has nothing. I ask him to come and sit on my bed as I explain to him that if he hands in all of his homework this week, I would let him play his games over the weekend. He liked that.
I ask him if he would like me to make his breakfast and he says no. Now I already went thru yesterday drama with him and I don't want any problems this morning so I say okay. I think to myself that I might as well get a run in this morning and that way I am out of his hair as he gets ready for school.
Let me interject here: As I am typing this at 10:45p.m. my mind tells me to go and check on Sonny Boy who turned in at 10:00p.m. because he was tired and has to get up at 6:00a.m. Needless to say I just checked on him and he is in bed on the I-Pad. He justifies it by saying he didn't get enough personal read time today. How I keep from slapping him into the middle of next week, I don't know but I hold onto my peace and ask him to turn in now.
Okay, back to the morning. I am back from my run and I open the door and as I step in I smell something burning. I enter the kitchen and the cast iron frying pan is smoking with nothing inside and the fire is lit under it. I look to my right and Sonny Boy is right at the kitchen table undisturbed. I ask if he is finish cooking. He says yes. I then ask him: Why is the frying pay still cooking? Did you not see the smoke? Did you not smell it burning? What were you doing? He responds that he was just eating his bacon. I ask: While the bacon was cooking what were you doing? He responds that he was looking at his I-pad but that was not the reason he was sitting right near the stove unaware that it was still on. He attributed it to being tired. I just looked at him because this could in no way be my son. This must be an imposter because I know that my Sonny Boy has more sense then to be so distracted by his I-Pad that he would let the house burn up with him inside.
Of course now, the I-Pad is restricted from the kitchen while cooking is going on.
Does that mean he won't be eating anymore?
Oh, that was all I needed to get a rise out of him. He is on fire and gets up complaining that I have taken his games, music (offensive that's why), t.v., and favorite foods from him and now his sleep, so he has nothing. I ask him to come and sit on my bed as I explain to him that if he hands in all of his homework this week, I would let him play his games over the weekend. He liked that.
I ask him if he would like me to make his breakfast and he says no. Now I already went thru yesterday drama with him and I don't want any problems this morning so I say okay. I think to myself that I might as well get a run in this morning and that way I am out of his hair as he gets ready for school.
Let me interject here: As I am typing this at 10:45p.m. my mind tells me to go and check on Sonny Boy who turned in at 10:00p.m. because he was tired and has to get up at 6:00a.m. Needless to say I just checked on him and he is in bed on the I-Pad. He justifies it by saying he didn't get enough personal read time today. How I keep from slapping him into the middle of next week, I don't know but I hold onto my peace and ask him to turn in now.
Okay, back to the morning. I am back from my run and I open the door and as I step in I smell something burning. I enter the kitchen and the cast iron frying pan is smoking with nothing inside and the fire is lit under it. I look to my right and Sonny Boy is right at the kitchen table undisturbed. I ask if he is finish cooking. He says yes. I then ask him: Why is the frying pay still cooking? Did you not see the smoke? Did you not smell it burning? What were you doing? He responds that he was just eating his bacon. I ask: While the bacon was cooking what were you doing? He responds that he was looking at his I-pad but that was not the reason he was sitting right near the stove unaware that it was still on. He attributed it to being tired. I just looked at him because this could in no way be my son. This must be an imposter because I know that my Sonny Boy has more sense then to be so distracted by his I-Pad that he would let the house burn up with him inside.
Of course now, the I-Pad is restricted from the kitchen while cooking is going on.
Does that mean he won't be eating anymore?
OH! NO YOU DON'T.
Yesterday, I awaken at 5:30a.m. It is 1/2 hour before my actual time to get up. So I turn around to go back to sleep and my Spirit suggests that I get up and spend a little time with God. So I say ok. I get up and go into my secret place. I am sitting there in stillness and the Lord speaks to my heart. One of the things he tells me is to let go of Sonny Boy. The Lord tells me to just trust him. So of course I say okay. I have been going back and fourth with Sonny Boy about getting up on time in the morning, and his grades. So I have tried all I could do, now God is telling me that he can do what I can't.
So after spending time in Gods presence, my alarm goes off. It is now time for us to get up and to get going. I call Sonny Boy and I notice that his alarm didn't go off. He forgot to set it. He makes a grunting sound as I head to the shower. I pass his room after my shower and he is sitting on his bed with the cover wrapped around him half awake. I let him know one more time that it is time to get up and I expect him downstairs by 6:45a.m.
Well it is 7:05 and Sonny Boy just makes it downstairs to the kitchen. I have his breakfast set on the table. He then says that he has to print his homework 1st. So he goes into the living room. 5 minutes later, I go into the living room and offer to print his homework for him, so he could then go and eat. But no! Sonny Boy says, "I got this". I say okay and head back to the kitchen. At approx. 7:20 he returns to the kitchen to eat his breakfast. I know that he is running out of time because his bus comes at 7:26, so I remind him that he will need his boxing gear today.
As he is coming down the stairs after getting his gear the school bus pulls up. Sonny Boy starts to panic and runs to get his shoes. I stop him and tell him that he cannot catch that bus because he does not have all of his stuff together. I remind him that he needs to eat breakfast, and get his sneakers packed. Then he says that he also needs a check for his lunch.
I remind him that since he missed his school bus, he would have to catch the city bus. Now Sonny Boy knows absolutely nothing about catching a city bus. And to tell you the truth, it has been so long for me that I couldn't even tell him how much the fare would be. So I tell Sonny Boy that he would need at least $2.00 to cover the fare. He tells me that he doesn't have any money. I remind him that he has the stash of money that he is building to eventually buy a playstation 4. He tells me that he is not touching that money and that he will walk to school.
Now common sense knows that he doesn't have a clue how to walk to school even if he had too. His school is not close and his nose is almost always in a game when we are in the car, so I think it would be safe to say he has no sense of direction when it comes to where the school is at. So reluctantly he goes and gets his money out of his stash. I only have an idea of where he needs to catch the bus so I asked him to jump in the car and that I would drop him off at the bus stop. Well, when we get to the stop it is the wrong bus line. So now I am confused as to where he needed to go and my time to be at work is getting close.
I decide that he could ride to work with me and then when I change to my work vehicle, I would drop him off on another bus line that goes right by his school. As we are traveling along the highway, Sonny Boy comments on how it seemed that everyone must be running late. I say no, this is what you call rush hour and they are just trying to make it to work. I then use his question as an in to how inconvenient this morning has turned into because he didn't get up on time. He asks me to take him to school this one time and he will learn the next. He asks me this because he is fearful of catching the city bus. He then expresses concern that he hopes he doesn't get jugged (detention), for getting to school late. I tell him that I can't take him to school because I have to get to work and I am going to be late dropping him at the bus stop.
After we get to my job, we change cars. We are now within a block before we get to his bus stop and I see a bus pass. I am frustrated now and "damn" slips out. I tell him that I will catch up to the bus. So it took me about 6 blocks before I could catch up to the bus. He gets on and as I make a U-turn and pass the bus, I notice that he is on the 11 bus line. He is suppose to be on the 25 line. I just start laughing because this morning has been too comical for me. Everything that could go wrong did. And now this. So I attempt to call him to let him know that he is on the wrong bus. And when he didn't pick up I just left it to God. Because he is the one who told me to trust him. I know that God created this fiasco this morning after Sonny Boy was dragging from the start.
When I got to work I called his school to make sure he made it there. Sure enough he made it to school and he had 4 minutes to spare. How good is God. Only God could teach a lesson this way.
TRUST GOD.
So after spending time in Gods presence, my alarm goes off. It is now time for us to get up and to get going. I call Sonny Boy and I notice that his alarm didn't go off. He forgot to set it. He makes a grunting sound as I head to the shower. I pass his room after my shower and he is sitting on his bed with the cover wrapped around him half awake. I let him know one more time that it is time to get up and I expect him downstairs by 6:45a.m.
Well it is 7:05 and Sonny Boy just makes it downstairs to the kitchen. I have his breakfast set on the table. He then says that he has to print his homework 1st. So he goes into the living room. 5 minutes later, I go into the living room and offer to print his homework for him, so he could then go and eat. But no! Sonny Boy says, "I got this". I say okay and head back to the kitchen. At approx. 7:20 he returns to the kitchen to eat his breakfast. I know that he is running out of time because his bus comes at 7:26, so I remind him that he will need his boxing gear today.
As he is coming down the stairs after getting his gear the school bus pulls up. Sonny Boy starts to panic and runs to get his shoes. I stop him and tell him that he cannot catch that bus because he does not have all of his stuff together. I remind him that he needs to eat breakfast, and get his sneakers packed. Then he says that he also needs a check for his lunch.
I remind him that since he missed his school bus, he would have to catch the city bus. Now Sonny Boy knows absolutely nothing about catching a city bus. And to tell you the truth, it has been so long for me that I couldn't even tell him how much the fare would be. So I tell Sonny Boy that he would need at least $2.00 to cover the fare. He tells me that he doesn't have any money. I remind him that he has the stash of money that he is building to eventually buy a playstation 4. He tells me that he is not touching that money and that he will walk to school.
Now common sense knows that he doesn't have a clue how to walk to school even if he had too. His school is not close and his nose is almost always in a game when we are in the car, so I think it would be safe to say he has no sense of direction when it comes to where the school is at. So reluctantly he goes and gets his money out of his stash. I only have an idea of where he needs to catch the bus so I asked him to jump in the car and that I would drop him off at the bus stop. Well, when we get to the stop it is the wrong bus line. So now I am confused as to where he needed to go and my time to be at work is getting close.
I decide that he could ride to work with me and then when I change to my work vehicle, I would drop him off on another bus line that goes right by his school. As we are traveling along the highway, Sonny Boy comments on how it seemed that everyone must be running late. I say no, this is what you call rush hour and they are just trying to make it to work. I then use his question as an in to how inconvenient this morning has turned into because he didn't get up on time. He asks me to take him to school this one time and he will learn the next. He asks me this because he is fearful of catching the city bus. He then expresses concern that he hopes he doesn't get jugged (detention), for getting to school late. I tell him that I can't take him to school because I have to get to work and I am going to be late dropping him at the bus stop.
After we get to my job, we change cars. We are now within a block before we get to his bus stop and I see a bus pass. I am frustrated now and "damn" slips out. I tell him that I will catch up to the bus. So it took me about 6 blocks before I could catch up to the bus. He gets on and as I make a U-turn and pass the bus, I notice that he is on the 11 bus line. He is suppose to be on the 25 line. I just start laughing because this morning has been too comical for me. Everything that could go wrong did. And now this. So I attempt to call him to let him know that he is on the wrong bus. And when he didn't pick up I just left it to God. Because he is the one who told me to trust him. I know that God created this fiasco this morning after Sonny Boy was dragging from the start.
When I got to work I called his school to make sure he made it there. Sure enough he made it to school and he had 4 minutes to spare. How good is God. Only God could teach a lesson this way.
TRUST GOD.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
ITS RAINING MONEY
This morning as I get out of bed, I remember that Sonny Boy has a walkathon tomorrow and his fundraising sheet is still empty.
It's Halloween and normally we would look forward to celebrating my dads birthday. Dad has past on to greater Glory. So I thought to celebrate his birthday by writing a check for the walkathon in his memory.
Sonny Boy is now 14. So I decided to run it by him to see what his response would be. Here is how it went: Me: Hey what do you think about me writing a check for $80 for the walkathon in your granddads name. Sonny Boy: Oh no, you don't have to do that. One of the boys at my school has collect hundreds of dollars so all of us that don't put money in is covered by him. Besides you pay enough for me to go to this school. Me: Yea, but I bet his money is not dedicated to your granddad. So take this money and remember to hand it in, please.
Then he goes on to tell me a story about a recent party at school where a kid has various denominations of money in his hand and he just throws it up and into the crowd. Sonny Boy shows me in one quick movement how fast the 1st bill was snatched out of the air. He said it was so quick that you couldn't even see it disappear. But it didn't take long for the rest of the crowd to catch on. He said that his friend got ahold of $10 and he got two dollars. Lastly he saw 15 boys on a dollar bill. I asked if they gave the money back? Of course the answer was no. Sonny Boy said: What? What u mean? I didn't know who he was. It's not like I saw the person. Besides he was throwing it up in the air.
I guess it is safe to say, when it comes to money there are bound to be surprises.
It's Halloween and normally we would look forward to celebrating my dads birthday. Dad has past on to greater Glory. So I thought to celebrate his birthday by writing a check for the walkathon in his memory.
Sonny Boy is now 14. So I decided to run it by him to see what his response would be. Here is how it went: Me: Hey what do you think about me writing a check for $80 for the walkathon in your granddads name. Sonny Boy: Oh no, you don't have to do that. One of the boys at my school has collect hundreds of dollars so all of us that don't put money in is covered by him. Besides you pay enough for me to go to this school. Me: Yea, but I bet his money is not dedicated to your granddad. So take this money and remember to hand it in, please.
Then he goes on to tell me a story about a recent party at school where a kid has various denominations of money in his hand and he just throws it up and into the crowd. Sonny Boy shows me in one quick movement how fast the 1st bill was snatched out of the air. He said it was so quick that you couldn't even see it disappear. But it didn't take long for the rest of the crowd to catch on. He said that his friend got ahold of $10 and he got two dollars. Lastly he saw 15 boys on a dollar bill. I asked if they gave the money back? Of course the answer was no. Sonny Boy said: What? What u mean? I didn't know who he was. It's not like I saw the person. Besides he was throwing it up in the air.
I guess it is safe to say, when it comes to money there are bound to be surprises.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
FIGHTING SLEEP
Help! Help! Help! I am going to pull my hair out. Sonny Boy is really trying my patience. We are having this thing about him getting up at the time his alarm clock goes off. He has his alarm set on school days for 6:00 a.m. but he doesn't really have to be up until 6:30 or 6:45 at the latest.
Just about every morning I hear his alarm go off. I then hear him jump out of bed hurridely and turn the alam off. He goes back to sleep. My alarm goes off at 6:15a.m. I get up and shower. After my shower I listen to see if he has gotten out of bed. 9 times out of 10 he is not out of the bed, nor is he awake. So I usually open his bedroom door and turn on his overhead light. I look at him and can tell that he is in a deep sleep. So I call his name a few times and he begins to stir. Grouchly he yells turn my light out. Then he yells give me 5 minutes. I usually give him another 5 minutes. 5 minutes later, I have to go through the same thing but demand that he get out of the bed immediately.
I am complaining because my waking him sets off a bad attitude in him and then I get an attitude because of the response I get from him. Then the morning begins on a negative note. This has been going on far too long. You probably wonder why I don't let him wake hisself up and suffer the consequences. Well 1st I tried getting his dad to wake him and that worked for a week. His dad soon filtered out. Then I just got fed up and said that he has to be responsible for waking hisself. Well that didn't go quite so well.
Sonny Boys alarm clock would go off at 6:00a.m. then he would jump out of bed to turn it off. Then jump back into bed and off to sleep again.. I would get up at my normal time, shower, dress, and then proceed to go downstairs to make my lunch and breakfast. Sonny Boy would be sound asleep and by then it would be 7:05a.m. He has to be ready and at the busstop by 7:25a.m. So needless to say he would be eating, dressing and running out the door to catch the school bus all in one swoop. That did not last long at all because as he exited the driveway the bus would be just about to pass. And, he had the nerve to miss it one day and blame it on me.
So, now we are backto me waking him up. This time when he doesn't get up in a timely fashion the I subtract tv and video play time from his week day hour or weekend 3 hours. So this seems to be working for now. Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Friday, April 12, 2013
1st Life Conversation
So I had the conversation with Sonny Boy. And boy was it a duzey. I first suggested that we go for a walk. This is something that we do every know and again. Most times he doesn't have a problem walking with me.
So I explain to Sonny Boy that he will be entering 9th grade in September and there are things that I believe may be important for him to know. I began talking about choices and how important to remember that he always has decisions or choices to make that will affect him. Sometimes those choices or decisions that he makes now can or will affect his future. I explained that as he makes the transition to high school along comes with it a new set of adventures. Peer pressure is greater and he will be tempted to do things that he would normally not do. So it is best to address as much now as he can so he can prepare a response before it happens. I gave him a senario of friends hanging around smoking cigarettes and/or reefer. They pass it to him. What will you do? His response shocked me. He said: Mom you know how much cigarettes cost, ain't nobody going to share those with you. And who gonna pay for reefer and try and give you some after they have paid their money. No body.
I looked at him like he was crazy. I thought to myself, "Are you for real". Oh, Oh, Oh, my baby is clueless. He is so niave. Anyway I explained to him that it does happen and it happens more then we both probably know. And, just to be on the safe size he needs to think about what his choice will be and how to respond. We talked about the effects of marijuana and how it is so contaminated with chemicals now, you don't know for sure how it will effect your mind or body. And, not only will you not know the effects on your mind and body if you try it, you may not recover from its effect. I went on to speak about young men who are in and out of mental facilities because they chose to smoke marijuana and it had an adverse effect on their mind. Now, they're permanently suffering from mental illness which cannot be reversed and perhaps, will be with them for a lifetime.
Sonny Boy said that he heard some of this in a class at school and he gave me the impression that he has it all under control. But, the question is, does he?
So I had the conversation with Sonny Boy. And boy was it a duzey. I first suggested that we go for a walk. This is something that we do every know and again. Most times he doesn't have a problem walking with me.
So I explain to Sonny Boy that he will be entering 9th grade in September and there are things that I believe may be important for him to know. I began talking about choices and how important to remember that he always has decisions or choices to make that will affect him. Sometimes those choices or decisions that he makes now can or will affect his future. I explained that as he makes the transition to high school along comes with it a new set of adventures. Peer pressure is greater and he will be tempted to do things that he would normally not do. So it is best to address as much now as he can so he can prepare a response before it happens. I gave him a senario of friends hanging around smoking cigarettes and/or reefer. They pass it to him. What will you do? His response shocked me. He said: Mom you know how much cigarettes cost, ain't nobody going to share those with you. And who gonna pay for reefer and try and give you some after they have paid their money. No body.
I looked at him like he was crazy. I thought to myself, "Are you for real". Oh, Oh, Oh, my baby is clueless. He is so niave. Anyway I explained to him that it does happen and it happens more then we both probably know. And, just to be on the safe size he needs to think about what his choice will be and how to respond. We talked about the effects of marijuana and how it is so contaminated with chemicals now, you don't know for sure how it will effect your mind or body. And, not only will you not know the effects on your mind and body if you try it, you may not recover from its effect. I went on to speak about young men who are in and out of mental facilities because they chose to smoke marijuana and it had an adverse effect on their mind. Now, they're permanently suffering from mental illness which cannot be reversed and perhaps, will be with them for a lifetime.
Sonny Boy said that he heard some of this in a class at school and he gave me the impression that he has it all under control. But, the question is, does he?
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Life Conversations
At 4:00a.m. this morning, I awakened in a fright. I had just dreamt that my 13yr. old sonny boy was arrested for shoplifting. Now, if you know my son, you would know how unlikely that would be.
In this dream the three of us had gone to Rite Aide Pharmacy. Sonny boy always goes to the magazine asile. Dad and I leave and as we drive away we realize that we left son in the store. So I pull back around and park and suggest that dad stays in the car as I am only picking son up. As I enter the store, I see sonny boy being guided by an unkn w/m who has his one hand on the back of his navy blue stripped shirt, pushing him forward into a back room. I immediately know what is going on because of my law enforcement background. I am in a frenzy now and all I can think about is sonny boys emotional state. I also think that he was picked out because he was hanging around the asile for a long time and they probably became suspicious of his activity as there were no other people around.
Long story short I awakened in a panic with my heart racing. I compelled myself to relax and began to digest what the dream consisted of. The first thing I thought about was, I needed to have a converation with sonny boy about shoplifting.
As I continued to fester over the dream, I came to the realization that we needed to have more than a shoplifting conversation with him. Sonny boy will be making the transition to high school in the fall. As a teen going to high school, he will be encountering situations that may or may not affect his future such as grades, study habits, peers, racism, drugs, sex, teen love, and much more. So now that I think about it, this dream was telling me that now was the time to sit son down and have life conversations. Dad and I will no longer be able to hold sons hands. It is time to let go and watch him grow.
So now, as we still have his attention, is the time to give him the tools he would need to move forward. I know that he will roll his eyes and squirm about as we talk, I also know that he will be listening in his own way and one day as he continue to live and grow he will be faced with many decisions and he will remember the life conversation we had and make the right decision.
In this dream the three of us had gone to Rite Aide Pharmacy. Sonny boy always goes to the magazine asile. Dad and I leave and as we drive away we realize that we left son in the store. So I pull back around and park and suggest that dad stays in the car as I am only picking son up. As I enter the store, I see sonny boy being guided by an unkn w/m who has his one hand on the back of his navy blue stripped shirt, pushing him forward into a back room. I immediately know what is going on because of my law enforcement background. I am in a frenzy now and all I can think about is sonny boys emotional state. I also think that he was picked out because he was hanging around the asile for a long time and they probably became suspicious of his activity as there were no other people around.
Long story short I awakened in a panic with my heart racing. I compelled myself to relax and began to digest what the dream consisted of. The first thing I thought about was, I needed to have a converation with sonny boy about shoplifting.
As I continued to fester over the dream, I came to the realization that we needed to have more than a shoplifting conversation with him. Sonny boy will be making the transition to high school in the fall. As a teen going to high school, he will be encountering situations that may or may not affect his future such as grades, study habits, peers, racism, drugs, sex, teen love, and much more. So now that I think about it, this dream was telling me that now was the time to sit son down and have life conversations. Dad and I will no longer be able to hold sons hands. It is time to let go and watch him grow.
So now, as we still have his attention, is the time to give him the tools he would need to move forward. I know that he will roll his eyes and squirm about as we talk, I also know that he will be listening in his own way and one day as he continue to live and grow he will be faced with many decisions and he will remember the life conversation we had and make the right decision.
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