Sonny boy always find ways to amaze me just as he always find ways to keep me on my knees in prayer.
Right before Easter, I told him to get ready so we could go and shop for him a new shirt and pants to wear on Easter Sunday.
His response was: "Mom, I have enough shirts and pants. I don't need know new shirts. Why don't you just take that money and put it towards the church roof. They still need a new roof right?"
Needless to say I was speechless. Yet I was grateful for where his heart was.
I guess he really does think on things other than videos, ps4 games, and youtube. Hallelujah!
I awakened to a view of white. Snow, perhaps 3 to 4 inches is everywhere. Schools have been closed because more snow is projected. Guess who has to shovel the driveway? No snowblower here!
I loveeeees Sonny Boy, God knows I do, (in Oprah voice from Color Purple). But when I send you out to shovel and you turn around and tell me not once but twice that you are waiting on me to come out and shovel too, boy, you almost cause me to lose all sense of reality. I kept my cool and in my best Officer Daniel voice I advised him to go outside and shovel the driveway. He is lucky he didn't feel a shoe behind him as he left, as my mom would have done. That was only because when he said it, it was as if he was asking what was for dinner. Expectantly, yet nonchalant. I must confess, I was in a state of shock! Momentarily that was.
Really, really? I am many years older verses his 16 years and find it interesting that he can actually fix his mouth to spew forth such words. That is one of the main reasons I dislike those video games he plays, because he doesn't seem to transition well from fantasy back to reality.
I actually enjoy shoveling within reason. But it should not and is not a requirement or prerequisite for Sonny Boy to shovel the driveway or any place else for that matter.
Proverbs 19:18 Punish thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
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| After a hard days work |
I guess there is know question who did the shoveling! Good job my boy.
Sonny Boy shares with me how a couple of priests at his Jesuit school has dropped the "F" bomb on occasion. I am floored.
We were in the car with two of his friends when Sonny Boy wanted to share a video of a teacher (youtube), using the word "Nigga" while talking to a student. I refused to look at it or listen for I was driving. Boy did that open up a can of words.
We went from that video to how one of his female teachers, almost forgot where she was, as her class got out of hand. One particular boy was talking and she shouted to him: "Shut the f(caught herself), shut up". Then proceeded to continue her lesson. Of course Sonny Boy then justified it by saying that kids curse all the time. Then he reminded me that he has heard me say the s and d word a time or two. But then I go on to justify it by saying I have never used a choice word directed at him or called him out of his name.
The two boys in the car offered up their stories of how the priests have been heard using the "f" bomb and a few other choice words. The words weren't said directly to someone, but in reference to something gone wrong. They also shared how the teachers curse in class all the time. When I professed my shock, Sonny Boy was quick to remind me of the priest being human too.
It was on after that. One of the boys shared how he had dropped some pots while his mom was on the phone and before he knew it she was calling him a dumb nigga. Then one chimed in on how he had left an item at school and his mother called him a dumb a-- nigga. Then the next one had to chime in on how he ran late and his mom told him he needed to bring his a-- on outta here.
A can of worms were opened and these boys were ready to pull out all the stops. Getting too hot in here, time to change the subject.
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| "destruction" |
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After digesting all of this, it is no surprise why so many of our youth are out here spewing all kinds of obscenities. Us parents are doing it. Teachers are doing it. Priests are doing it. So it goes to say, our youth are doing it. Yet we only hear them, right?
So much to left unsaid here! Just saying?
What you say?
It is so hard to remember that sixteen year olds are still learning, in spite of the fact they think they know it all, as they dispute most things you say.
So today I asked Sonny Boy if he wanted to go and pick out his new glasses. I reminded him that he just needed to pick new frames. This is because his script stays the same.
So he asked me with such a serious face, if he could just go and pick out the lens today and the frames another day.
Now, we went back and forth in regards to this question for a minute, because I thought, perhaps I was slow in thinking or something. I really needed a moment because that sentence was not registering in my mind.
So I repeated his question to him and he asked what was wrong with it. I then shared that you have to pick a frame first, because the lens are based on the design of the frame.
Sonny Boy has been wearing glasses for years so I just don't understand how he came up with that suggestion. Even when you go into the optical store, it's frames first.
Lord help me! These darn teens, who swear they know everything, consistently prove they don't. Can you imagine what would happen if he picked a circular lens and later an oblong frame without insurance to pay for it?
Oh well. Back to the drawing board of life. Thank God he keeps me on my toes. I am even more grateful to God for how he uses him to teach me patience.
Only God!
Sonny Boy has a checking and savings account. He completes a budget sheet most months. Now I thought it was time Sonny Boy learn how to invest in stocks and/or mutual funds. I suggested that he start with $2000. He looked at me like I had two heads. Then he said, "I'll do $1000 but not $2000. That is too much money".
I explained to him that he would be meeting with a financial counselor that would explain, the how to, of investing. I reiterated the $2000 to start with.
Sonny Boy turned the tables and asked me about a gallon of almond milk that was in the fridge. He caught me off guard when he asked me how I liked the almond milk I purchased, because he noticed that I wasn't drinking much of it. I admitted that I wasn't very keen on the taste. Then he asked if it made sense to me to purchase a gallon instead of a quart, especially since it wasn't something I was use to.
Then Sonny Boy turned around and said, "And just think you want me to invest $2000 and you just brought a gallon of milk you don't even like. I don't think I want to follow the advice to invest $2000 from someone that don't even know how to buy milk. I will stick with my $1000."
There was nothing for me to say. I couldn't argue against his logic. It just amazes me how children watch a lot of what we do and we don't even realize it. I may not agree with Sonny Boy's reasoning but I am grateful that he is actually filtering the things I do or say when it comes to applying it to his life.
I would have never thought that I would loose credibility over almond milk. I guess it really is the simple things in life that matters.
Lord, I thank you that you didn't just give me any son, but one who thinks.
For the last two years, Sonny Boy has attended a school that requires the wearing of dress clothes. He has to wear full shirt, tie, dress pants, and dress shoes. The only thing that bother him about it is, that he has to iron his own clothes.
So for a while, Sonny Boy seemed to be wearing the same shirts and ties, over and over again, although he had many more options. I would shop for him and he was so picky that I gave up. It bothered me a lot because he didn't like what I thought would look good on him, and he wasn't trying to conform to the look of the majority.
I found myself telling him time and again to switch shirts or to add a tie which color complimented his shirt. If you saw the shirt and tie he would select, you would have thought he was color blind.
Then I found myself voicing my opinion on which hat he wore, shoes he chose, or which coat he wanted to wear for that day. At times, I even compared him to the other students who were more coordinated in their outfits.
One day it hit me that I was slowly pushing him to cover up his own ability to take on the form of commonality. This boy is old enough to pick out his own clothes, and make a lot of his own choices. But, that wasn't the big revelation. The big revelation was me trying to fit Sonny Boy into the everybody else category. When I faced the realty of how I was trying to influence Sonny Boy to be like every one else, I felt remorse.
I was remorseful because at this time in his life, Sonny Boy is trying to find himself. He is trying to grow into his own person. He is learning about his likes and dislikes. And if I am always trying to turn him into what everyone else is, how will he find his own individuality. How could he be accepting of himself, if I, his own mom, is not accepting of him even through these simple and insignificant choices he is making.
I was blessed to come to the realization of this just by his choice of clothing, yet I realized that it goes way deeper than that, and occurred in more ways besides his clothing. Without realizing it I was stifling his creativity, and his will to be his own person. It was as if I was giving him subliminal messages that he was not good enough. As parents we are suppose to be encouraging instead of discouraging. Yet I found myself focusing more on the dislikes than likes on the pretense of making him better. Better than what, his natural self? Really?
If Sonny Boy could walk out of the house wearing the combinations that he put together, and be comfortable, that said a lot about his self confidence and his ability to step out of the norm on his own terms. To me it shows the beginning of leadership capabilities. Why would I want to stifle that?
Isn't that what God requires of us? It is written in the Word that those who follow God are a peculiar people as in 1Peter 2:9.
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should announce the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
Thank you Lord for helping me to realize that we are all destined for greatness in our own unique way and no one has the right to make us into something we are not. Not even us parents.
Sonny Boy spent a week with his dad and boy was it an eye opener. Yet he would do it again because the presence was more important than the inconvenience for both of them.
I went to visit my older son and Sonny Boy stayed here because we didn't want him to miss school. To make it convenient for Sonny Boy, his dad stayed at our home with him. His dad has his own apt. but it doesn't have the necessities that Sonny Boy has grown use to.
While with Sonny Boy, his dad took the whole week off from his second job. Now that is a miracle in itself. Hardly anything ever comes between dad and work. That said a lot about his dads priority. During this time, dad noticed that Sonny Boy has outgrown most of his dress shirts. He noticed that Sonny Boy runs late for his bus that stops right at the driveway and that he eats a lot. His dad also realized how little he knows about Sonny Boys daily schedule.
Sonny Boy on the other hand noticed that his dad likes to get up from the table without clearing it. Sonny Boy complained how he had to pickup after his dad while in the kitchen, and he didn't like it. He even noticed that his dad left the fridge slightly open a few times and that Sonny Boy had to constantly go behind him to make sure it was closed. Sonny Boy complained that they ran out of Dove soap and had to take soapless showers until dad found a bar of shea soap. (Soapless showers Uhmmmm.) Lastly Sonny Boy was irritated that his dad asked him daily about his schedule although he gave the same answer the day before and the day before that.
It is through our personal time together that we not only learn about one another, but we can learn our life lessons through those experiences. It is the little things that we come to see from the inside of life for ourselves, that is not as obvious when we are on the outside looking in. As Sonny Boy got to see, life is not always the way you want, or as you think you know. Life is what you make of what you have while you have it.
Sonny Boy and his dad spent a week together, which enabled them to learn invaluable lessons about one another. I am thankful that God gave them an opportunity to be together with no influence of mines whatsoever. A week with just man to man. Awesome. And I am so thankful that his dad put his life on hold so I could have some time away. What a selfless gift he gave to me. Thankful!
Proverbs 16:8 says it best: Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without right.
ONLY GOD!
